فصل 5

After reviewing the tapes it has come to our attention that On The Spot serves as a better source for sexual education than the majority of the schools in our country's public schooling system. Start taking notes, kids. You're gonna learn something whether you want to or not.

Business business business business, Donald Trump in a cornfield, business business business business, waffles challenge, business business business business, cunnilingus your best friend, business business business BUSINESS!

The revolution has been mounting. Will the rebel alliance finally have their day and a new host takes control of this train wreck of a show? This could be the day that Jon loses his long-haired swagger and unleashes a wrath so great that scribes will carry its legend for decades to come. Or not.

You better watch out, you better not cry, you better double bolt your doors and maybe board your windows too while you're at it. In fact, turn the lights off and you might wanna sleep in shifts tonight. Don't answer the phone either. Or look under your bed. Uncle Tickles is coming to town!

And, as in uffish thought he stood, the Golden Gus, with eyes of flame, came whiffling through the On The Spot set, and burbled as it came! One, two! One, two! And through and through the Haywood blade went "Oppressive Bitch!" He left it dead, and with its head he went galumphing back.

Hey everyone, my name is On The Spot and today we're going to the exotic and foreign land of Los Angeles to visit Tyler Oakley and Korey Kuhl, and to find out if the natural bond between show hosts truly exists between Phil Keoghan of The Amazing Race and our very own host, Jon Risinger. Spoiler alert: it does and it's magical. Also, apparently the Golden Gus has a fantastic thigh gap. Who knew?

WE GOT A BRAND NEW SET FOR THE SHOW! Also, in honor of not being asked to attend the Oscars, we at On The Spot have come up with a few helpful tips on what to do if you have to give an acceptance speech. Also, find out what happens when Dwayne Johnson knocks the Christian right out of you.

I understand that On The Spot is a place of fun and frivolity. And don't get me wrong, I know how to take a joke. I love jokes. So funny. But if I can just be serious for one second and say that if any of you assholes mess with my god damn rolodex again I am not going to be responsible for my actions. We're talking scorched earth, you little shits! Ok, now back to the comedy. Thanks, everyone.

I just want to take this opportunity to thank my guests for respecting the ad reads during the show. I know they aren't everyone's favorite part of the show but I'm just really glad that all of my guests understand the importance of sponsors for the show and really take that time during the show as a moment to exercise restraint, civility and decorum. Thank you.

This episode of On The Spot was such a blast. There were surprises, airhorns, toys, and even fish. I just want to say thanks to my guests Chris, Aaron, Kirk, and Nick for coming to THEIR LAST EVER episode of On The Spot. You know where the door is. Get the hell out of my sight.

The final count of belts and pants undone by the end of this episode was 4 out of 5 which to some might seem like a lot but honestly, I am little disappointed we didn't get the whole set. I have higher standards for On The Spot and I would like to apologize to everyone watching for the one that got away.

ACTION ROLL! RING THAT BELL! TAKE THOSE PANTS OFF! DO THAT SHOT! DOUBLE FINGER PISTOLS TO THE CAMERA! SEE BRENT MORIN IN CRUNCH TIME, COMING SOON! END THIS FUCKING SEASON OF ON THE SPOT ALREADY!